T R A N C E

I've made this (some-kind) of essay a long time ago. And now, I am republishing it here. The words that is written below is about music, one kind of music that I like. FYI, I like music very much. And TRANCE is one of them. So, here are my reasons why I like TRANCE, and why I pledge myself to TRANCE.

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WHY I PLEDGE MYSELF TO TRANCE?

Why?
I meet some difficulties to answer this question.

I started listen to trance in the early 2002. Back then, I know nothing about any electronic dance music. I thought the electronic music was all the same. And I came out wrong. There are various kinds of EDM in the world. Trance is just one of them.

I try to listen to the other genres, too like: Electro, progressive, house, techno. But, nothing that suits me more than trance.

I listen to quite a few musicians, and some of them become my favorite. Hmm, let's say Armin van Buuren, Above & Beyond, Kyau & Albert, Super8 & Tab, Aly & Fila, Ronski Speed, Rank-1, Markus Schulz, Andy Moor, Gareth Emery, Tiesto, and some others that will make this list too damn long to be read. =P

Trance is the richest kind of music I've ever heard. The melody, the vocal and the beats really fits my soul. Trance can make my mind wondering on its own. Trance can make me calm and relax when madness cloud up my brain. Trance also can lift me up and bring the energy when I feel sad and down. Trance can bright up some inspirations when I am stuck on something. Trance is a very emotional music for me. Trance knocks on my ear, goes to my brain, touches my heart, and then bursts out through my body.

And the best of all, I don't need any chemical substance to experience 'fly' or 'high'. hahaha

As a DJ and (soon to be) electronic dance music producer, that’s why I love and pledge myself to trance.

Maybe that is just me.

How about you? What is your kind of music?

I made this notes just because of some curiosity inside my head. Cheers.

H A P P I N E S S . . . . ? ? ?

Here is my (another) short thought.

HAPPINESS...

The word seems familiar in my head. But when I was asked “what is HAPPINESS?” I find some difficulties in explaining what happiness is.

According to me, in a spontaneous way, HAPPINESS is a personal positive state of mind. Simple, isn’t it? But, my answer is still too general. Then I try to ask around on my twitter. I want to know other people’s definition of HAPPINESS. Big thank you for those who responded to my question: Inda Carmen, Shawn Muljadi, Fauzia Evanindya, Fatthan Sinergy and Naztasha Cesty.

According to Inda Carmen, HAPPINESS is a state of mind. According to Shawn Muljadi, HAPPINESS is a way of life, not a destination. According to Fauzia Evanindya, there’s no need to define what HAPPINESS is, all we need is take a little time just to feel it. According to Fatthan Sinergy, HAPPINESS is a natural feeling that we got if we did something which fits our need, “not less than...” or “not more than...”. And according to Naztasha Cesty, HAPPINESS is simply accepting and thanking.

Everybody seems to have their own opinion about what HAPPINESS is. Then, I turn to a technology called internet. I have search the word HAPPINESS in MSN-Encarta’s website. The result shows that HAPPINES is a state of joy, pleasure, goodness, or satisfaction. Also in MSN-Encarta’s website, I surfed the word ‘happy’ in dictionary. Here were the results:

hap·py [ háppee ] (comparative hap·pi·er, superlative hap·pi·est)

adjective Definition: 1. feeling pleasure: feeling or showing pleasure, contentment, or joy
happy smiling faces

2. causing pleasure: causing or characterized by pleasure, contentment, or joy
a happy childhood

3. satisfied: feeling satisfied that something is right or has been done right
Are you happy with your performance?

4. willing: willing to do something
I'd be only too happy to help.

5. fortunate: resulting unexpectedly in something pleasant or welcome
a happy coincidence

6. tipsy: slightly drunk ( informal )

7. used in greetings: used in formulae to express a hope that somebody will enjoy a special day or holiday
Happy birthday!

8. too ready to use something: inclined to use a particular thing too readily or be too enthusiastic about a particular thing ( used in combination )
trigger-happy

Such a simple word, but has lots of definitions and similarities. Is it enough to define HAPPINESS? For me, it’s not enough. So, after several discussions with several friends (Imam Satria, Stefanus Kurniawan, Shekar Ayu, Anastasya Adi, Ranny Monita, Hakimul Musyaffa, Rosalyn Lohanda, and Muhammad Ichlas Bayu), the word HAPPINESS feels harder to be described. Each indivudual has different story and point of view about the word HAPPINESS. And don’t even start at the comparison to differ between HAPPINESS and pleasure. It can take forever to write all the discussion that was held in 2 or 3 hours. So, I just try to summarize them in my own way. Is that okay? Hehe.

For me, HAPPINESS is a temporal and a very personal satisfaction state of mind that I’ll feel when I succeed at accomplishing my goals when I deserved them.

Why HAPPINESS must be personal? In my opinion, there’s no tools can measure the exact standard of HAPPINESS. The sensation of HAPPINESS is different in every individual. I personally find it very difficult to define HAPPINESS with just 8 other people. How about try to define it with the rest of the world? It can take forever! Believe me.

Why HAPPINESS must be temporal? Also in my opinion, HAPPINESS is a combined feeling when wishes and efforts to get the wishes meet. Different wish with different effort can cause another kind of HAPPINESS. That is why I make a statement that HAPPINESS is temporal, because people have lots of wishes. Am I wrong? Correct me if I am. Why must I present the word ‘effort’ to define HAPPINESS? Because, I believe that HAPPINESS is a reward or appreciation that people get when they successfully achieve something that they longed and deserved. How can you be deserved something effortlessly? I believe it is something non-sense. And if I might add, the ‘reward’ and the ‘appreciation’ should come from our own minds and selves. Because when you feel satisfy with yourself, you already happy.

After all, that was my opinion. How about you? Is there any of you who has another opinion? You can share your thoughts here.

Definitions, images and impressions... Maybe labels, too...

Everyone has a certain definition to define oneself. For example, I can describe myself as ‘something’, while you can describe me as ‘other thing’. There is always more than one possibility on everything on this world. I do believe that.

But now, I am going to talk about one’s definition, image and impression, maybe labels too.

When you meet someone for the first time, you’ll get your own first impression on that person. Whether it’s something the way they look, or smell, or maybe just a glimpse of faces that they’re making while you meet them, for the first time.

When you meet that same someone for the second, the third, and so on, that impression can be slightly change to a better impression or worse. And maybe, it is just the same, as you can read everything on that someone when you first met him or her.

Any people can have their own opinion about you, but no one can understand you better than you. And if some people admit that someone knows himself or herself better, I think it is a total bullshit. If you are one of that people, I think it is mean that you just not so secure about yourself, and you just need a second opinion to make you feel better.

Back to the topic, as the master of yourself, you can arrange your own impression to give to others. Some people called it as fake or act; some others called it as placing their right attitude on a certain occasion. And I can say that I prefer the second one.

You can call me fake or you can call me whatever you like, but I am what I am. I am the one that has many faces to wear. I can present myself as ‘something’ to you, and I can be ‘other thing’ to someone else. But, the truth is just one me. No other me out there.

Maybe you know me as what I am, or maybe you know as the ‘presentable’ me, or maybe you know me as the ‘mess’ me, or you know me as the ‘other’ me. But in the end, there is just one me.

I can say that I am not a two-face prick. But, do you believe me after reading some passages above? I don’t think so. Instead, I am a many-faces prick. I have lots of different faces that I can wear at anytime to anyone. I am a liar. And right now, I can be anyone.

As fake as lots of people know me, I still let some certain people to know the truth about me. A person should have other people to share something and thoughts, right? And I am, too, the one that likes to share things and thoughts to certain people. Because in the end, I want to be known as me to the people that matter to you the most. At least, that is me.

How about you?
What is your definition, image or impression about me?
Then ask anyone you know what is his or her definition, image or impression that they have on you. Is it their definition the same as you present yourself to them?

Or just do nothing and let everyone judges you as they see fit?

It is your choice; I am just sharing my deeper thoughts right now…

And, I am a hypocrite after all… Haha…

1ST POST (just a re-post..)

Finally, I've finished creating my blog (again)... Because the old one is on friendster... And you know that we don't use much of friendster nowadays.. *haha

I want to tell some of my stories in my first post, but I am now exhausted from layout-ing this page...

So... My first post is a re-post from my old page... It's just a post that, I think, will allow all of you to understand me better... And it's in Bahasa Indonesia, so... For those who can't read Bahasa Indonesia, please accept my sincere apology.. I hope that I can update this page in English (later)...

I hope you can enjoy this 'not-so-light' readings... And I'll come back with some of my stories and thoughts soon...

..ciao..


This post was written in December 7th, 2007


"CONCEPT OF BELIEVE"

pernah nonton constantine? film yang dibintangin sama keanu reeves…? di situ ada suatu pernyataan menarik…. gini ceritanya….

"gimana kalo diawal dunia, pihak surga (tuhan) dan pihak neraka (lucifer) bikin suatu taruhan…?? taruhannya ialah pihak mana yang berhasil memasukkan manusia ke tempatnya -neraka/surga- sampai batas waktu yang ditentukan, maka akan mempunyai hak atas dunia yang kita tempati sekarang… syarat permainannya ialah, kedua belah pihak ga boleh ada yang turun langsung ke dunia… tapi keduanya harus memakai sistem perang influential… nah ini tuh lewat bisik2an di hati manusia…"

gw percaya… ada sesuatu - apa pun bentuknya itu, tuhan kah, dewa kah, ato yang lainnya - yang powerful dan punya kapabilitas yang lebih dibanding diri kita manusia biasa… gw masi percaya akan sesuatu -yang dalam pembahasan selanjutnya akan gw sebut tuhan- yang terus ngawasin jalannya dunia ini… murni sebagai pengawas… ga campur tangan langsung ke dunia…

kenapa gw berpendapat kaya gini? jujur aja, gw dulu merupakan orang yang percaya sama agama gw dan ajarannya… tapi smakin gede, gw smakin sadar… kalo tuhan tu emang nyata dan se-powerful apa yang diceritain, serta agama gw yang paling bener… buat apa dia ngebiarin agama2 lain berkembang? apa agama2 lain tu cuma "dapet bisikannya" lucifer??? trus gw liat dan berteman sama beberapa orang dari agama lain… mereka ngga seburuk yang gw bayangkan… mereka sama aja kaya gw… tujuannya juga surga -ato apalah itu tempat dimana kebahagiaan abadi ada-… cuma berbeda cara beribadah aja…

berikutnya gw ngeliat… kayaknya hampir setiap agama ngajarin kebaikan2 dengan imbalan pahala yang bakal digunain manusia untuk beli tempat di surga… tapi kenyataannya, tindakan anarkis yang ngerugiin sesama manusia malah dilakukan dengan berdasar pada agama… saling bunuh lah… saling menjatuhkan lah… kepercayaan yang dipegang manusia lain disalah-salahin lah… bukannya negara udah bilang bahwa agama tu hak asasi manusia??!! kenapa malah selalu jadi alasan untuk perang? gw bingung, dimana konsistensinya??!! saat ada kejadian gini, apa sie yang ‘orang2 besar’ itu lakuin??!! masa malah takut ma institusi agama tertentu??!! apa ini ajaran agama yang sebenernya? ato hanya manusianya yang otaknya dol? ga bisa gtu ya manusia hidup saling berdampingan? damai… ga saling usik… hargain hak manusia lain…

"jangan nyubit kalo ga mau dicubit"

kata2 ky gini tuh sebenernya punya makna yang dalem bgt… jangan usik dan ganggu orang kalo lo ga mau semua itu balik ke muka lo… dan kalo emang tuhan -yang katanya sayang sama manusia- sangat berkuasa dan memiliki kendali penuh atas apa pun yang terjadi di dunia, knapa dia biarin manusia living in chaos? apa ini bagian dari taruhan dimana ia ga boleh turun tangan langsung? dan kalo kita berserah diri ke tuhan, apa kita akan langsung ditolong? ngga tuh… apa cara berserah dirinya yang salah? gw ga pernah tau… mana keajaiban tuhan yang katanya emang ada? toh dia ga pernah bantu…

ada anomali lain lagi yang gw liat… knapa beberapa petinggi di negara dan agamanya masing2 malah ngelakuin sesuatu yang dilarang sama agamanya… bahkan banyak yg udah ketahuan dan masuk di tv… jadi gw ga ngerti, apa pemimpin ky gini yg mw kita ikutin? kalo menurut gw, jawabannya pasti ngga…

jadi intinya…. gw dah cape dikotak-kotakin sama agama… yang ada, agama tuh bikin perpecahan antara kita, yang ngejalanin dan ngerasain manis-pahitnya hidup… yang gw mau,, manusia tu bisa hidup jujur, nyaman, damai, tentram di dunia ini… hidup manusia tu singkat.. kalo ngga dijalanin dengan senang, apa yang tersisa dari hidup?

tuhan… apa pun bentuk lo… gw percaya lo ada… please tunjukkin gw dan orang2 lain jalan, tentang apa yang bener dan apa yang salah… jangan biarin kita semua menderita karena kesalahan orang-orang tertentu yang nyalahartiin maksud lo nyiptain manusia ke dunia… saat ini, gw cuma bisa berpegang dengan keyakinan kalo lo ada… ngawasin gw nulis blog ini… ngawasin isi otak gw yang lagi mikir… jadi, tolong kasi gw petunjuk… makasih…

bwt yang mw komen, silakan…. mw nge-jugde juga, monggo... semua orang bebas berpendapat dan berkeyakinan kok…