The Day After #30harimenulis

Like a same song keeps repeating on and on. Some songs will get better, and the rest will be plain boring songs.

People has their own opinion, their likes and dislikes. We surely don't have any rights to tell people to match our taste, every time.

I keep writing. But it is not for me to decide, whether my writing gets better or worse. It is depend on the eyes who read. And maybe someone will kind enough to bear me their judgement and critics upon my works. Flatteries are joy of the present, while critics are the success of the future.

With some mistakes, I finished one of my journey, #30harimenulis. Even it is not one post per day as I thought it would be. I am failing my own commitment.

Thank you Maradilla Syachridar, for the inspirations about this journey. Thank you my fellow friends and blogger, Dhea Sekararum, Anastasya Adi, Novelisa Sondang Delima, for the companions in this journey.

One journey has ended. Billions left to unfold. I will not stop.

Bye '30 days of writing', welcome 'a life time of writing' :)

Day #30: Temple of Dance

Dark. Just some glimpses of light.

Loud. Just enough to make my heart pounds.

Crowded. Just some people try to have fun.

It's my temple.

It's my holy place.

It's my paradise.

It's my escape.

It's my battleground.

Club. Night club to be exact.

The place of pure fun, yet fill with so many energy.

I was behind the DJ booth.

I was on the dance floor.

I was on the couch.

I was at the bar.

Every place holds their own spirits.

It's not about the alcohol, it's not about the drugs, it's not even about the opposite of sex.

It's the music. It's the passionate people. It's the energy. It's the atmosphere.

I love it here, at the temple of dance.

Think what you like, say what you want, do as you please.

Be free.

-- Inspired by "3 Years 3 Days - Temple of Dance"

Here's the lyrics:

Behold, and listen my children, my people
You are now in the temple of dance
And we pay homage to our god
And his name is trance
For trance is the only true way
The righteous way
More powerful than any drug known to man
Fulfilling, enlightning your very being
You must surrender to the all
And evering and moving force
Of this god, this god we call trance
So come inside, and rejoice
And join us, in the temple of dance

Temple of dance...

Day #27: Writer's Block

Type. Type. Type. And backspace.

Type. Type. Type. And backspace.

Type. Type. Type. Close the window without saving.

I did this again. Over and over again. Writer's block. Is it really a writer's block? It is just a Goddamn blog post after all. And I got writer's block? Such a bullshit.

My friend once told me, "there's no such thing as writer's block."

Is it really? Who's right?

I think, writer's block is caused by lacks of experience and imagination, or maybe research in some cases. Also lacks of writing practice. That's why we can't be creative of what will our next topic is going to be. I've got this case that called writer's block several times in the past, especially when I tried to finish my academic paper. Yeaa, maybe that is caused by less favor from me about all the things that academic-related.

Have you ever feels like stuck while writing? Or maybe while doing something creative stuffs? I think everyone is already experienced it, right?

In times like these, I usually take a break for a while. Put my mind at ease. I'll be back to finish this entry in about 30 minutes later. I'm going to make some coffee and do some browsing.

-- 30 minutes later -- or maybe more --

Okay, I am back. And I just looked it up in wikipedia.org about writer's block. It is said that:

"Writer's block is a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task at hand. At the other extreme, some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers. It can manifest as the affected writer viewing their work as inferior or unsuitable, when in fact it could be the opposite."

Whew.. Frightening, isn't it? Writer's block can make a writer abandons his/her career.

In that page is also said that writer's block can also be caused by more serious condition, like physical illness or depression. Am I sick?

Well, I'm not professional writer anyway. So, I'm not taking this writer's blog so seriously. Even in those 30 minutes break is quite useless. I'm still thinking about a thing named 'writer's block'.

So, here I am. Lacking inspiration about what to write, yet I was blabbing about writer's block. Maybe it's not exist after all. What do you think?

Day #25: Keep Them Close

"Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer"

Know that line? How could you not, right? You must have heard the line above before. In a way, it is right. The basic strategy to easily defeat your opponent is by their weakness. But, it's not what I'm going to talk about.

After read that line, I was intrigue to ask a question, "So, who should we keep at the closest?"

If I've been asked that question, I'd probably answer it with, "Keep your loved ones to the closest." Fame, prosperity, status, even joy, won't mean a thing if we don't have anyone to share it.

I am not defining 'closest' as always has to be in the grasp. Instead, as try to be the close, mentally and maybe physically, and try to be the one that always be there to support. It is true that we are the main character in our life. But it doesn't mean we can act as a supporting role in other's life. We're not live alone in this world.

So, forget about the first sentence of this post. Shall we change it?

"Keep your friends close, keep your loved one to the closest. Make no enemies."

Day #24: Why Do We Fall?

In the movie Batman Begin, there are a scene when little Bruce Wayne fell to the bat cave, and then he had to wait a while until he is rescued. And after that incident, Mr. Wayne has something to say to little Bruce, "Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn and pick ourselves out."

Quite a line, it is true. We can't always be a dependent person. If we're not trying for ourselves, we can't expect someone will try in our behalf.

If we truly want something, go for it. No matter how hard, no matter how long. Sometimes, we may stumble down and fall. Even when we fall, don't let our head down. Keep it up, keep stare at our goal(s). Pick ourselves up and try again. That's what we should do.

But, every person has his/her own limitations. There are times that we meet a wall, too high to be climbed, to think to be brought down. When we already tried, and feels like we can't, ask for help. I'm sure our friends will lend their hands, and we need to reach out our own hands to be able grasp theirs.

Ask for help is not a sign of weakness. We ask for help because we are brave, brave enough to admit our incapabilities. That's what make you a warrior in your own life.

Never give up! :)

Day #22: Let Go

Just like to try and grab a handful of sands. The tighter our grip, the more sands will come out from our hand....

Pick them softly, lift them carefully, hold them gently. Just like the way we treat those we care the most. Sands and feelings are quite the same, aren't they? Such delicate things.

They can be sands, they can be pearls, they can be anything you treasured and loved. In the end, we can't hold them in our hand forever. They may slip and fall out from our grip, our hand may feel numb because hold on to them for too long, or maybe our grip just fail, a tad bit too tight or too loose.

It maybe anything. There's nothing certain in this very world we live in. There will always be surprises, they can be what we've dreamed of or what we've feared.

As everything else in this world, things in our grasp will come and go. When they come, cherish them. And when they go, let them.

It may be hard to let them go at first. Sometimes we try our hardest to make them come back to our hand. We'll be more than happy if it's happen, and devastated when we fail. That's good I think. It means that we really treasured them with all our heart's content.

Still, in the end, they may fall out again. And at some point, we'll need to let them go, for good. We may not be okay, but we will. We will...

So long, precious.. :)

Day #20: Love What You Do, Do What You Love

"Love What You Do, Do What You Love"

A simple statement, really. I don't know who started it first, but for me, the words above reached deep within.

I often found my mind wandered, even to the most absurd place, when I am alone. And I recall, it's been more than once that I thought of "what's the point of doing something you don't love?". That's why I often ask, "what's your dream?". If I haven't asked you that question, then I have not chatted with you long enough to ask that. The point of asking that question is for my selfish curiosity to know what have you done to reach what you love.

I live my life the way I want. I have an awful lot of dreams, some of them can be seen here. But right now, I want to focus my living my life in the music way. I even choose 'Trance Music' in my theme for thesis, while I am studying in architecture (LoL). We'll see how it goes. Haha.

So, I can (proudly) say it (now), I LOVE WHAT I DO AND I DO WHAT I LOVE! Do you?

Day #19: Radio

Who needs a radio nowadays? When we can easily hear our favorite song from our own mp3 player? Well, I do need the radio.

To be honest, I am a quite apathetic person, I rarely give a damn to what happen in the world if it doesn't have anything to do with me. I don't watch the news or read the newspaper, even if I am, I only watch or read the sports news. Ou yea, there's twitter now. I can easily know what is happening, but it doesn't mean that I read all the updates.

To be honest (part 2), I only hear the local radio when I am in my car. But in average work-day, I spent about a quarter of it in my car (yea, I am restless.. :p). So, it is a quite lots of time to listen to the radio. And sometimes, in my own home, when the internet connection is good, I listen to online radio.

What can I get from the radio?

Beside some news that being brought with a-certain-funny-way from the broadcasters, listen to the radio also gives me updates in music. About cool events that will happen, new songs release, etc. As a bonus, sometimes I like to hear the jokes from the broadcasters, they can make me laugh my ass off.

That's why I still need the radio. Are you?

Day #17: Jealousy

"When you really value something in your life, you build a fence around it and protect it."

That sentence really strikes me. Basically, some parts of the sentence above are true, well, for me at least. I felt quite protective for things I treasure. Are you?

I can be one hell of a protective person, to those I care about. I may not show it openly, but I know I am. I'll try my level best to protect those I treasure the most. It is like an instinct, I'll be reacting before I thinking it through to jump in and try save them.

Then, a silly question pops out in my head, "Is it the same as jealousy?" For some reasons, I think it is. I think jealousy is a compliment that you show to other person to show that you care about them. Of course, the way to show the feeling plays important part, some people will not take it as a compliment at all. But rather take it as an insult.

I think it is like a basic instinct for everyone. When you feels in peril, you'll be thinking about those which you value, beside your own survival.

So, if sometimes I got overly concerned about something, or maybe to you. Just remember that is because I care. ;)

Day #12: Flexibility

Flexibility.

Right or wrong. Pretty or ugly. Good or evil. And so on. They're all relative. They're all subjective. They're flexible.

Justice? What is justice? All I know, if it is written as a law, it will be justice. Whether it is written by the country or by "God" in holy books. But know and believe are different matters. If I know something, it doesn't mean I believe it. Even bad people deserved to have a lawyer to defend them, they deserved a trial, right?

For example, do you allow a child-rapist to walk freely in our country because he has won over his trial?

Flexibility. In moral. In point of views.

Whether you have it or not. Law is not a sword or spear. It was a bunch of written words, it bent.

So, what about your thoughts? Can you live in a grey area, or it is a simple 'black and white' in your brain?

Day #11-b: Normal

It's my second entry for today. Why? Because I was such a incompetent person. I was preoccupied by many things yesterday, and I totally forgot that I have a commitment that I have to post one blog-entry per day in my #30harimenulis or #30daysofwriting journey. So, here we go...

I am going to talk about a thing called 'Normal'. It's the 'Normal' in human behavior, not the 'Normal' Distribution in math's probability theory.

So, it is normal for people to forget, isn't it? But it is not normal to broke a promise, is it? And who decide it is a normal thing or not? I guess it's depend on the society you dwell in. Different society tends to have few different norms.

But what is normal, really? For me, it is just something that majority has chosen, an average for everything. So, if you're not in the average state, you're not normal. Whether you're an imbecile or you're a genius. But the word 'abnormal' is often refers to something negative, don't you agree? But once again, who decide it is a negative thing? A majority, of course.

Yeah, as social being, it is almost impossible for a human to live alone by himself. Even Tarzan needs his animal friends. So we need to respect to other people wish and well-being. What about our desires? Do people understand that?

For example, it is like world-wide believable thing that "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus". It is believable that men thinks about 'sex', and women think about 'romantic' when they are facing the word 'love'. So, if a woman think about sex and a man think about romantic, it is not normal, is it? Err... You should answer this for yourself. It can make a whole new topic about 'normal' in gender issues if I continue this kind of example. But do you get what I mean, don't you?

For me, normal is a stereotype. A majority. It is boring.

So, if normal is a majority, I am the abnormal one. If the path that already laid is the only truth, then I am the unforgivable sinner. I hate to be the same, but everyone does to, I guess. As normally as you think you are, you'll hate to have an entire same outfit with someone, let's say, at a party or gathering where public can have a clear view of you.

Can you change a 'normal'? Of course. Make the majority believes it. It is about social acceptance after all...

Day #11-a: Friendship, A Lifetime Investment

What you call a friendship, I call it an investment.

What you call it an introduction, I call it create a network.

Haha. I know what you think. Such a money-oriented scumbag or a two-faced prick.

Basically, yeah. It's true. But not everything can be valued by money. When you start to know someone new, it always is an opportunity, a chance, a gift. Begin with introduction, a friendship opens up a new door for your future. You'll be gifted with many possibilities. And to be honest, not all the possibilities will be positive. But at least, I try to look them in positive ways.

Why I start this theme? Until now, my friends are the one who made a Fadil Pinandita that you know now. And I want to share something about friendship in my point of view.

Never expect anything from the start. But still, start the friendship with a good intention. Treat a friend like you want to be treated. And don't expect you'll be in the receiving end, try to be the one that always offers. Eventually, all those good intentions will be returned to you somehow. So, treat your friends kindly. Don't forget about the old ones while you're making a new ones. Interaction frequencies may reduce after some times, it doesn't mean that the goodness in friendship has to be reduced also.

I believe if we have friends in our life, life will be easier to be lived. Friends will lend their hand when you ask them, or even they already offer theirs before you ask for them. Because in this era, believe it or not, it's not (entirely) about what you can do, but (more) about who you know.

But, having friends doesn't mean that you'll be a co-dependent person. Try what you can do with all your might, friends are the supportive materials. You won't be like it too, when someone always cling at your shoulder all the time, right?

In my opinion, good intentions, respect, understanding and generosity are the main traits in a friendship.

So, hello my friends and soon-to-be my friends. It's nice to have you all in my life. Hope this goodness will last for life. Thanks, all... :)

DREAMS

Have you ever wondered about dreams? Dreams that you had when you are still a little kid, dreams of what you’ll become. Have you ever?

Well, I have. Maybe, I did it a little bit more than anyone else in the world. And if you knew me, ‘What was your dream?’ is, probably, a question I already asked to you. Is it? I always want to write about dreams, since several years ago. And I never make it, until now. Now, maybe you are wondering, ‘why dream?’

Let me take you to some of my dreams and the way I deal with them. Yeah, the story is about me. I can be a narcissist prick sometimes.

At 5 years old.
I was dreaming that I’ll be an astronaut. At that time, my parents had a poster of several occupations (the one with English translation, so my sister and I can start to build our English vocabulary). And I saw an astronaut picture. It was the coolest occupation beside everything else on the poster. And I can say that stars and space thingy are something that interests me. I even try to make astronomy my major in college. But, my parents won the debate. They said that I’ll have no future if I took this major, especially in Indonesia. What a shame. So, that was the dream crusher.

At 7 years old.
I was dreaming that I’ll be a professional football (soccer) player. I always love sport, several kinds of sport actually. But, I think, football will always be the one I consider as my favorite. In junior high, I join a football school in Jakarta. I practiced there for almost 2 years. It ended in high school. Long hours of study at school kept me from the afternoon practice. So I tell the coach that I won’t be able to continue, and he told me to back to the school when I finish my high school. Then I joined the basketball club in high school just to have a sport that I’ll do regularly. In conclusion, I failed to come back to the football school. Now, I just do futsal, as my sport, regularly on campus. On special occasion, like a tournament, I also play football and basketball. And that’s it for my dream of being a professional football player, it just faded away. Sports are just a little hobby of my own, now.

At 13 years old.
I was dreaming that I’ll be a musician, a rock star. I formed or joined a band, several bands to be exact. I played different music in different band. I played punk, grunge (hail to Nirvana), and several kinds of rock. It was Noir, a band that I formed in high school, that I thought will be the one for me to realize my dream of being a rock star. We even made and recorded songs of our own. As time goes by, we have to set our ways in different paths, with the bassist quit and the drummer gone out of town. Until now, I am still trying to form a band, but never succeed. While I am still trying, I also played for several bands in some campus’s events. And I am still trying, and still trying, I won’t give up this dream.

At 15 years old.
I was dreaming that I’ll be a writer. I always love a good writing, it can be a poem, it can be a novel, it can be lyrics of a song, and it can be anything, as long as it is good and fits my taste.Still at 15 years old, and out of my curiosity, I entered a short-story competition. With no hope and no expectation at all, my story made it to the final and ended up as the top 10. But, I can’t recall myself completed another story after that. It was hard, because I just wrote when the moods hit me. I remember myself wrote some poems, some lyrics and lots of pieces like this (on my old blogs). I even tried to write some plays, and one of them was brought to a real play for Abang None Jakarta Timur’s pageant in 2009. So much of a dream being a writer if I just wrote based on my mood. I know I’ll never make it to be a real writer. I just love to write, and maybe someone out there will be enjoying my writings. Just keep positive minds. Haha.

At 19 years old.
I was dreaming that I’ll be an architect. Being an accidental architecture student, I grew to enjoy architecture. But the dream was not hold on for long. I realized that being an architect is not my ideal job. I’d love to participate on some architectural projects, but that’s it. I refuse to make it into my daily job; it is just not for me.

At 19 years old. Still.
I was dreaming that I’ll be a professional photographer. This is the time that I got my own Digital SLR Camera, and then I started to learn the rope of being photographer. I never took a special course, just simply learning by doing. It’s not that hard, because I got some friends who also interested in this field. I even managed to get some extra money by taking pictures. It was not long, until someone told me about Lara Jade (thank you, Lalitia). Her works changed my perspective about photography. I grew to love fashion, beauty and conceptual photography. It’s been so long since I’ve been in a photo shoot. I hope I will be doing that anytime soon. Right now, I am planning to go overseas to learn more about photography. But maybe after I finish up school and gathered enough money to be able stand on my own. I hope you wish me luck. Haha.

At 20 years old.
I was dreaming that I’ll be a DJ. As I said before, I always love music. Electronic dance music is no exception. I enjoyed the dance music since I was a teenager. And at the age of 20, I join one of the best DJ school in Jakarta. The school that introduces me to some of the masters of electronic dance music scene in Indonesia. At the age of 21, with several of friends, I tried to form our own DJ management. And Aonyx was born. Specialized ourselves in electronic dance music scene, we tried to create events and produce some songs. I, myself, do hope that this little company will grow big in the coming years. We thrive and put lots of efforts to produce great records and performed many amazing shows. We do hope for the best for Aonyx.

WHOAAA! Quite dreams, right? And they are just the ones that I remembered. The truth, I am quite a radical dreamers. I even wanted to be a superhero, once. Haha. I try to follow my dreams, all of them if possible, maybe that’s why I ended up with standard skills, maybe less, in every field. I am not complaining, at least I’ve experienced all the fields that I put my interests in.

Back to the basic question, WILL MY DREAMS PAY MY BILLS?
For now, THEY ARE NOT. It is sad. I’d like to be able to do some jobs that I love. But, reality bites. We are live and evolve in the world of money. Even now, I am considering to take the nine-to-five kind of jobs (the kind of jobs that I think will not suit me well), just because I need the money to live and to keep my dream alive.

I do think that I’LL BE FEEL LIKE LIVING AS LONG AS I HAVE MY DREAMS TO BE GRASP.

So, my choice for now is living the reality and keeps chasing the dreams.

Do you think that I am greedy?
What about yourself? Do you live the way you want to? Or do you compromise to reality, even start to drift away from your dreams? Only yourself that knows the answers.

T R A N C E

I've made this (some-kind) of essay a long time ago. And now, I am republishing it here. The words that is written below is about music, one kind of music that I like. FYI, I like music very much. And TRANCE is one of them. So, here are my reasons why I like TRANCE, and why I pledge myself to TRANCE.

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WHY I PLEDGE MYSELF TO TRANCE?

Why?
I meet some difficulties to answer this question.

I started listen to trance in the early 2002. Back then, I know nothing about any electronic dance music. I thought the electronic music was all the same. And I came out wrong. There are various kinds of EDM in the world. Trance is just one of them.

I try to listen to the other genres, too like: Electro, progressive, house, techno. But, nothing that suits me more than trance.

I listen to quite a few musicians, and some of them become my favorite. Hmm, let's say Armin van Buuren, Above & Beyond, Kyau & Albert, Super8 & Tab, Aly & Fila, Ronski Speed, Rank-1, Markus Schulz, Andy Moor, Gareth Emery, Tiesto, and some others that will make this list too damn long to be read. =P

Trance is the richest kind of music I've ever heard. The melody, the vocal and the beats really fits my soul. Trance can make my mind wondering on its own. Trance can make me calm and relax when madness cloud up my brain. Trance also can lift me up and bring the energy when I feel sad and down. Trance can bright up some inspirations when I am stuck on something. Trance is a very emotional music for me. Trance knocks on my ear, goes to my brain, touches my heart, and then bursts out through my body.

And the best of all, I don't need any chemical substance to experience 'fly' or 'high'. hahaha

As a DJ and (soon to be) electronic dance music producer, that’s why I love and pledge myself to trance.

Maybe that is just me.

How about you? What is your kind of music?

I made this notes just because of some curiosity inside my head. Cheers.

H A P P I N E S S . . . . ? ? ?

Here is my (another) short thought.

HAPPINESS...

The word seems familiar in my head. But when I was asked “what is HAPPINESS?” I find some difficulties in explaining what happiness is.

According to me, in a spontaneous way, HAPPINESS is a personal positive state of mind. Simple, isn’t it? But, my answer is still too general. Then I try to ask around on my twitter. I want to know other people’s definition of HAPPINESS. Big thank you for those who responded to my question: Inda Carmen, Shawn Muljadi, Fauzia Evanindya, Fatthan Sinergy and Naztasha Cesty.

According to Inda Carmen, HAPPINESS is a state of mind. According to Shawn Muljadi, HAPPINESS is a way of life, not a destination. According to Fauzia Evanindya, there’s no need to define what HAPPINESS is, all we need is take a little time just to feel it. According to Fatthan Sinergy, HAPPINESS is a natural feeling that we got if we did something which fits our need, “not less than...” or “not more than...”. And according to Naztasha Cesty, HAPPINESS is simply accepting and thanking.

Everybody seems to have their own opinion about what HAPPINESS is. Then, I turn to a technology called internet. I have search the word HAPPINESS in MSN-Encarta’s website. The result shows that HAPPINES is a state of joy, pleasure, goodness, or satisfaction. Also in MSN-Encarta’s website, I surfed the word ‘happy’ in dictionary. Here were the results:

hap·py [ háppee ] (comparative hap·pi·er, superlative hap·pi·est)

adjective Definition: 1. feeling pleasure: feeling or showing pleasure, contentment, or joy
happy smiling faces

2. causing pleasure: causing or characterized by pleasure, contentment, or joy
a happy childhood

3. satisfied: feeling satisfied that something is right or has been done right
Are you happy with your performance?

4. willing: willing to do something
I'd be only too happy to help.

5. fortunate: resulting unexpectedly in something pleasant or welcome
a happy coincidence

6. tipsy: slightly drunk ( informal )

7. used in greetings: used in formulae to express a hope that somebody will enjoy a special day or holiday
Happy birthday!

8. too ready to use something: inclined to use a particular thing too readily or be too enthusiastic about a particular thing ( used in combination )
trigger-happy

Such a simple word, but has lots of definitions and similarities. Is it enough to define HAPPINESS? For me, it’s not enough. So, after several discussions with several friends (Imam Satria, Stefanus Kurniawan, Shekar Ayu, Anastasya Adi, Ranny Monita, Hakimul Musyaffa, Rosalyn Lohanda, and Muhammad Ichlas Bayu), the word HAPPINESS feels harder to be described. Each indivudual has different story and point of view about the word HAPPINESS. And don’t even start at the comparison to differ between HAPPINESS and pleasure. It can take forever to write all the discussion that was held in 2 or 3 hours. So, I just try to summarize them in my own way. Is that okay? Hehe.

For me, HAPPINESS is a temporal and a very personal satisfaction state of mind that I’ll feel when I succeed at accomplishing my goals when I deserved them.

Why HAPPINESS must be personal? In my opinion, there’s no tools can measure the exact standard of HAPPINESS. The sensation of HAPPINESS is different in every individual. I personally find it very difficult to define HAPPINESS with just 8 other people. How about try to define it with the rest of the world? It can take forever! Believe me.

Why HAPPINESS must be temporal? Also in my opinion, HAPPINESS is a combined feeling when wishes and efforts to get the wishes meet. Different wish with different effort can cause another kind of HAPPINESS. That is why I make a statement that HAPPINESS is temporal, because people have lots of wishes. Am I wrong? Correct me if I am. Why must I present the word ‘effort’ to define HAPPINESS? Because, I believe that HAPPINESS is a reward or appreciation that people get when they successfully achieve something that they longed and deserved. How can you be deserved something effortlessly? I believe it is something non-sense. And if I might add, the ‘reward’ and the ‘appreciation’ should come from our own minds and selves. Because when you feel satisfy with yourself, you already happy.

After all, that was my opinion. How about you? Is there any of you who has another opinion? You can share your thoughts here.

Definitions, images and impressions... Maybe labels, too...

Everyone has a certain definition to define oneself. For example, I can describe myself as ‘something’, while you can describe me as ‘other thing’. There is always more than one possibility on everything on this world. I do believe that.

But now, I am going to talk about one’s definition, image and impression, maybe labels too.

When you meet someone for the first time, you’ll get your own first impression on that person. Whether it’s something the way they look, or smell, or maybe just a glimpse of faces that they’re making while you meet them, for the first time.

When you meet that same someone for the second, the third, and so on, that impression can be slightly change to a better impression or worse. And maybe, it is just the same, as you can read everything on that someone when you first met him or her.

Any people can have their own opinion about you, but no one can understand you better than you. And if some people admit that someone knows himself or herself better, I think it is a total bullshit. If you are one of that people, I think it is mean that you just not so secure about yourself, and you just need a second opinion to make you feel better.

Back to the topic, as the master of yourself, you can arrange your own impression to give to others. Some people called it as fake or act; some others called it as placing their right attitude on a certain occasion. And I can say that I prefer the second one.

You can call me fake or you can call me whatever you like, but I am what I am. I am the one that has many faces to wear. I can present myself as ‘something’ to you, and I can be ‘other thing’ to someone else. But, the truth is just one me. No other me out there.

Maybe you know me as what I am, or maybe you know as the ‘presentable’ me, or maybe you know me as the ‘mess’ me, or you know me as the ‘other’ me. But in the end, there is just one me.

I can say that I am not a two-face prick. But, do you believe me after reading some passages above? I don’t think so. Instead, I am a many-faces prick. I have lots of different faces that I can wear at anytime to anyone. I am a liar. And right now, I can be anyone.

As fake as lots of people know me, I still let some certain people to know the truth about me. A person should have other people to share something and thoughts, right? And I am, too, the one that likes to share things and thoughts to certain people. Because in the end, I want to be known as me to the people that matter to you the most. At least, that is me.

How about you?
What is your definition, image or impression about me?
Then ask anyone you know what is his or her definition, image or impression that they have on you. Is it their definition the same as you present yourself to them?

Or just do nothing and let everyone judges you as they see fit?

It is your choice; I am just sharing my deeper thoughts right now…

And, I am a hypocrite after all… Haha…